4 Ways to Practice Authenticity in 2024
Leave the box behind
Most of us have experienced the feeling of “shrinking ourselves” at one point or another in our lives. We know what it’s like to hide our authentic selves away. To adopt a facade which allows us to chameleon our way into a broader spectrum of social settings. All this is natural and necessary to some degree. But only to a degree.
Welcome to the latest edition of Sparkling Audacity. If you are new here, read my About page to find out what this newsletter is, who I am and why I am doing this. Or just dive in!
If you managed to get through my interminably long debut piece “The Audacity of Authenticity” (first of all, thank you for that, lol), you might recall how a life in survival mode led me to shrink myself for safety’s sake. Perhaps, you too, have lived a shrunken existence and you know exactly what it feels like to be stuffed into that too-tight box.
It’s suffocating.
The problem arises when privilege is seen as an entitlement, and the entitled decide they are going to have those privileges regardless of the expense to others.
It’s all well and good if you choose to put yourself in a situation where you have to omit parts of yourself to gain acceptance and progress in your life. That’s your choice. But when one person seeks to dictate and subjugate another, that’s when we have a problem.
It’s not right. And I, for one, refuse to accept that anyone is more or less deserving of taking up space in this world than I am. I. Am. Worthy.
Just as YOU are worthy.
And, we are both just as worthy as the next guy. Or girl. No more. No less.
The problem arises when privilege is seen as an entitlement, and the entitled decide they are going to have those privileges regardless of the expense to others.
4 Ways to Practice Authenticity
It can take time, however, to leave the box behind when you’ve lived your whole life that way. I am finding I have to actively practice and cultivate my own authenticity. I have to nurture authenticity as I would a garden. Feeding and watering it with love and intention. It’s a journey in it’s own right, and I look forward to spending the rest of my life getting to know myself intimately.
Something of an obsessive planner and a firm believer in taking actionable steps to achieve progress in my life, I’ve come up with 4 ways I want to practice authenticity in 2024. I hope these strategies help you as much as they help me. Let’s grow our authenticity together. Maybe even start an #authenticitymovement ?
1. Prioritize self-care
We all know we can’t pour from an empty cup, but how often do we sacrifice our own self-care for the sake of those around us? Make self-care a priority in whatever way is most natural to you. The possibilities are endless and will likely vary from one day to the next depending upon your personal needs.
2. Celebrate YOU
It’s time to give yourself permission to fall in love with your own life. Our existence here on Earth is a precious gift. And fleeting. Remember Daddy’s gift? Life is short, my friends. Why waste another minute living a half-life? Be your own cheerleader and celebrate the wonderful, beautiful─exquisite─creation that is YOU.
3. Nurture authentic self-expression
Sometimes I find myself reverting to those old habits and I have to consciously pull myself back to the present. It takes practice to be myself. Consistency and the courage to be seen. And strength─to not give a f*ck what other people think. I cultivate authenticity at home, and then I consciously take that authenticity with me out into the world.
4. Release what no longer serves
This is where you liberate yourself from everything that is nonessential to your core self. If it does not make you happy─Let. It. Go. Say no without guilt.
Over the course of the upcoming year, we’ll look at each of these 4 goals in more detail. A firm believer in life-long learning and personal growth, I hope you will join me on this journey into authenticity.
The Choice
Because of the nature of my particular childhood, I was not able to explore my authenticity or discover who I really am at heart. For safety’s sake, I had to make myself small. I had to hide and ignore parts of myself to avoid physical and mental abuse. In that situation, I had no choice but to endure the subjugation in order to survive.
When I grew into an adult, however, the choice became mine but being small was such a learned behavior that I continued to allow myself to be controlled by others for decades. It wasn’t until more recently that I realized: I have a choice.
I can choose to put myself in situations that force me to shrink myself. Or I can draw a line as to how I expect to be treated. If that line is not respected, I can choose to stay and endure, I can advocate for myself and if respect is still not appropriated, I can choose to remove myself.
Starring Anne Hathaway and Julie Andrews, I’m not ashamed to admit that Princess Diaries is a go-to comfort movie for me. There’s one scene in the movie that keeps coming back to me and which I find decidedly on-point.
In the movie, Mia’s best friend, Lilly, is ragging on her about her new makeover, putting Mia to tears. Security guard and limo-driver, Joe, played by Hector Elizondo, pulls Mia aside to offer this sage advice: “No one can make you feel small without your permission.”
It’s a profound thing to realize we have that kind of power and control in our lives. To discover that it’s really up to you.
You have a choice, just as I do.
If you haven’t discovered it already, I hope you will consider the idea. Mull it over. Because now that I’ve tasted the freedom of authenticity, my friend, I can tell you with certainty that it. is. sweet. If you’re living anything less than your best life, you’re missing out.
Do you really want to get to the end of your time here having missed out on some of life’s most precious gifts? Do I?
No, sir. Not me.
Are you on a journey of authenticity like me? Have you struggled amid mainstream society and it’s indoctrination of conformity? Do you chafe against the industrialized system? Do you reject the notion that each of us are little more than a cog in the Machine?
Leave a comment, if you like, to share where you are at in your own journey. If you have some insight that might help those just learning to be their authentic selves, please consider sharing. I invite you to band together with me to cultivate this community of authenticity here at Substack.