Rogue Chickens
My hate-love-hate relationship with chickens and some BIG NEWS! from Runamuk
From across the yard I spied the rogue chickens scratching and pecking in the garden. “Fucking chickens.” I muttered, scowling. They were alarmingly close to my bed of overwintered garlic, attracted by the freshly raked soil where I’d been working less than an hour before. After 20-some years managing a laying flock, I’m well and truly over it. Chickens are my least favorite farm-animal. If it weren’t for the necessity of eggs to my household and business, I would happily cease to keep chickens at Runamuk Acres. Grab yourself a cuppa and join me for the latest farm-update!
Welcome to the latest Updates From the Farm! If you are new here, I invite you to check out my About page to learn what this is, who I am and why I am doing this. Or just dive right in! At “Runamuk Acres” you’ll find the recantings of one lady-farmer and tree-hugging activist from the western mountains of Maine. #foodieswanted
Prehistoric Terrors
I remember the first chickens I ever brought home…I must have been about 24 at the time. My first-born was an toddler and I had my hands full, but we’d just moved into our very own home and I was excited to begin homesteading. I had no notion of the difference between regular chickens and bantams─I had no notion of chickens at all!
Even still, my husband at the time built me an 8x8 salt-box coop. Together we put a fence around it, brought those birds home and watched as they promptly flew right over the fence!
Ironically, that pretty much sums up the entirety of my experiences with chickens.
When I bought this property in 2018, I moved my existing layers to our new home, invested in electric net fencing and built some pretty fabulous chicken-tractors. I hauled those tractors all over the back field until the chickens realized there wasn’t much holding them back. Then, they started hopping over the fence to become “free-range” chickens.
A few hens scratching about sounds like the idealistic farm or homestead setting, I’m sure. But when there’s 50 or 60 of them, they become a band of prehistoric terrors roving across the landscape!
Those birds dug up the lawns, invaded the gardens, trashed the interiors of the garage and barn─anywhere their curious little minds would take them. Chickens have no boundaries. Soon they were moving back and forth across the road to explore the neighbor’s yard too.
Much to my chagrin, my new neighbors loved it! These folks happily tossed bits of leftover popcorn and bread out their front door to feed the rogue chickens. They even sent me a picture of a group of my hens inside their porch with their little pomeranian. The neighbors lamented over how it reminded them of a time not so long ago, when they’d once had chickens, too.
And then, egg production dropped and the flock became a nuisance on the road in front of the farmhouse and I’d had enough. I converted the addition on the garage into a coop, complete with a 7-foot tall fenced in chicken yard. My girls have been on lock-down ever since.
Chicken Run
After a couple of Maine winters the chicken run was looking rather sad. The wire netting sagged in a few spots, and the T-posts leaned haphazardly from the constant scratching and digging of the chickens. For those more adventurous and athletic (read: not too fat and heavy to fly) birds, it was all too easy to make the great leap to freedom.
Those select few have enjoyed the smorgasbord of tid-bits that lie beyond the fence, ranging across the front yard, in and out of the garage and around about the two sheep pens. It was only a matter of time before they found their way into the garden…
I have a number of different gardens here at Runamuk. Several perennial beds, the little orchard I’ve been cultivating, and the 2 market gardens. Looking at the fences surrounding the 2 vegetable plots, one might think─very understandably─that these fences exist to keep the deer at bay. When, in fact, these fences were erected more to keep the chickens out than anything!
Around the smaller “Garden 1”, as we call it (mainly because it was the existing garden upon Runamuk’s arrival at this property and the spot that I first began developing), I’ve fixed chicken netting on top of woven wire fencing just to be doubly sure. The deer can get in there when they really want to, but it keeps the chickens and dogs out.
Garden 2 is much larger and high tensile electric fencing was the only viable solution for protecting this swath of land─financially speaking. However, it’s still early in the season and I have yet to bring the electric fences online. At the moment there’s nothing to keep the chickens or deer, or anything else out of that garden. Certainly the mere suggestion of a fence is not going to deter the pint-sized veloceraptors from ravaging the compost bins. So I made the chicken run a priority last week, recruiting my son BraeTek to lend me a hand.
Because I use semi-permanent fencing materials, it wasn’t too bad a job to take the wire netting off the chicken run. The chickens had dug the soil away from the posts on the inside of the fence and they came out of the earth easily.
Well practiced in the art of setting fences, my son and I are a good team. He knows his role in the task and enjoys teasing and harassing me while we work, so that we are both laughing through the chore. It took only a couple of hours to reset the posts and get the fence back into position.
Fun & Games
Aside from the chicken-run project, last week’s “big deal” was the long awaited return of D&D and a bonus gaming day─thanks to the fact that my sister was on vacation for the week.
8 years younger than myself, Maria has the “cool auntie” vibe going on─hip and trendy and waaaaaaay more fun than any mom or dad. It serves her well as a 9th grade ELA teacher at our local Mt Abrahm Region High School. She’s able to meet kids on their level, creating a welcoming and comfortable environment for teens. By creating a Table Gaming Club at her school, Maria has connected with teens who are not into sports, who might otherwise fall through the cracks in the system. She even managed to get grant funding to purchase some really fantastic games for that program, and recently hosted a school-wide Game Fest.
Yeah…I’m kinda proud of her, lol. I recently convinced Maria to join substack, so be sure to pop on over and check her out: Maria’s Substack. She’s writing about the challenges of being a diabetic teacher, among other things.
With the sun shining and so much to get done outside, it was a little painful for me to sit in the house and play games in the middle of the work-week. Yet, it had been a couple months since we’d been able to get together for D&D, and since this is BraeTek’s preferred method of socialization, as a homeschooling-mom I had to put work aside.
Oh darn…
So Wednesday went to D&D, but Thursday we worked till noon. After lunch Maria came with the game Plunder and we had ourselves a “Pirate Day”, complete with pirate-themed mock-tails and cocktails, and rounding out the evening with a viewing of Pirates of the Caribbean.
Not the competitive type, I rarely win games and I have no qualms with that. This time, however, the God of Gaming was on my side and I dominated the game.
Plunder was lots of fun! I totally enjoyed kicking butt! It’s a little involved─as most role-playing games are─and took a little while to get into, but I really enjoyed it and if you’re into role playing games at all, I’d definitely recommend it!
Weekend Projects
To make up for taking time off during the work-week, I opted to work through the weekend and set myself up with a lengthy list of projects. I’m eager to get the first crops in the ground, but this is also the best time of year to get ahead with mulching and fencing projects─before the plant-growth overwhelms the landscape.
Black plastic: In Garden 2, I laid a swath of 6mil black plastic to smother grasses and weeds growing over piles of manure. This buys me some time to prepare beds, and it will be much easier to dig and move the composted manure when I’m ready for it.
Hoops & row-cover: I poked wire hoops into one of my prime garden beds, every 3 feet or so down it’s 50-foot length. Rolled out the agribon AG-19 and anchored it securely. The cold-hardy crops that I’ve been hardening off on the enclosed front porch were moved out and tucked inside the tunnel to acclimate before planting.
Sign-painting: Saturday morning dawned cold, rainy and horribly windy, and I opted to spend the morning working in the craft room. I’ve been busy painting a variety of new signage for the farm─roadside signs, a farmstand-hours sign, and signs for the back 40─the trails and remote campsite.
Sexy mulching! My poor fruit trees have been neglected these last couple years, overgrown by tall weeds. I should have paid closer attention, as this is ideal habitat for the dreaded apple borer and other such wood-boring beetle-pests who like the tender flesh of young fruit trees.
Indeed, I found 2 of my prized apple trees─2 of the trees I’d planted my first spring on my very own farm─have been parasitized by beetles at the base of the trunk. The damage is such that I’ll have to replace those trees and start again.
To protect the remaining 18 juvenile fruit trees, I’ve been working to clear away the weeds from the base of each tree. Short on funds and committed to not making any investments this year, I’m using what I have on hand to amend the situation. Cutting squares of Pro-5 landscape fabric and tacking that down before bringing a wheelbarrow of mulch to cover it all.
I’ll go back and paint the trunks of each tree with acrylic paint to further protect the orchard from beetle-pests, but just maintaining a weed-free zone around the base of each tree will help tremendously. While I tend to favor functionality over aesthetics most of the time, I have to admit the mulching around the fruit trees looks downright sexy!
BIG NEWS─x2!!!
Insect Hotels by ME!
You may have caught my note a while back about my desire to make insect hotels─both for my own farm and for backyards and urban spaces everywhere.
Insect hotels are widely popular with the “save the bees” movement right now, but after extensive research I’ve discovered some alarming news about the efficacy of these habitats. I’ve also found that most of the insect hotels available on the market are woefully inadequate and may cause more harm than good. You can expect an in-depth article on the topic coming out in the next couple weeks.
In the meanwhile, I am happy to announce that we are now accepting pre-orders for Runamuk’s custom-made insect hotels! Bam-baby!
Using what I learned from my research, I’ve adopted 3 designs which I believe will set the enthusiast up for success with their backyard bee-project. Each “hotel” is made to be easily replaced or cleaned and comes with detailed information about the kinds of bees you should expect, an installation guide, and a maintenance guide─all of which is essential in providing real help to native bees and beneficial insects.
Visit Runamuk’s online farmstore to pre-order your very own authentic insect-hotel!
Farm-Smut
The other bit of exciting news is that I’ve decided to serialize my novel! Wooooooooooooo!
In an effort to push myself to complete my first-ever full-length book, I’ve decided to follow the example of some of the other writers here at Substack and give serialized story-writing a try. This scares me way more than the idea of stepping up to make my own insect-hotels, and I hope you’ll be there with me throughout this process.
If you’re new here, or in case you’ve missed it─in addition to blogging and writing essays and articles, I also like to write what I call “farm-smut”. Stories of sex and love on the farm, homestead, or off-grid location in Maine.
NOTE: For more info, check out this teaser post I wrote a little while back: Farm Smut.
I can’t promise a chapter every week─especially as we’re coming into planting and growing season here on the farm. But I think one chapter a month is a manageable goal for this farmer/writer.
Because this is so big and scary, these chapters will be available exclusively to paid subscribers.
Maybe it’s a little obsessive of me, to want to incorporate my love for agriculture with─well-love─but with a new wave of homesteaders and small farmers seeking old-world lifestyles, I’m willing to bet I’m not alone. If you’re into erotic romance and like the idea of the small-town girl finding love in an agrarian lifestyle, consider upgrading your subscription to follow along!
My first chapter will be available sometime in the next 2-3 weeks, so stay tuned, my friends!
Rogue Chickens
Once you’ve had fresh eggs there’s no going back to grocery-store eggs. In spite of my loathing for the destructive nature of rogue chickens, I won’t be eliminating the laying flock from my operation any time soon. If ever.
For a while, I was very passionate about playing the banjo─clawhammer style, mind you, not Scruggs. I still like to play, but I’m more focused on writing these days…when I can find a spare moment. Anyway, a while back I learned to play the song “Cluck Old Hen” with a friend of mine, and I like to sing that song to the chickens sometimes when I go in the coop to collect eggs.
The cadence of the song is very much like chicken song and the birds really seem to like it. I do too, and in those moments I remember all the good that comes with keeping such animals in service. They really are curious and funny little creatures─and so long as they stay where they’re supposed to stay─I guess maybe we can all get along, lol.
Much love to you and yours, my friends!
Your friendly neighborhood farmer,
Sam
PS — It’s been brought to my attention that readers would like the option to make 1-time donations to the farm or to leave tips to compliment my good writing. I am not too proud to accept such sorely needed gifts, and as such, this button will now be at the bottom of every post. I thank you for your kindly consideration.
Thank you for following along with the story of this lady-farmer! It is truly a privilege to live this life serving my family and community, and protecting wildlife through agricultural conservation. Check back soon for more updates from the farm, and be sure to follow @RunamukAcres on Instagram or Facebook!
That photo of the dog is so cute. I love eggs, one of my favorite things, makes such a huge difference when they are good quality. Btw, on my walk with my son we saw insect hotel at our local park!
I love reading about your ventures. I think your chickens are a bunch of naughties. I only have about thirty now and mostly they are in order. - I lock them up when the gardens begin to mature though! I hear ya on that one! I do love those eggs!